44 Comments

Brilliant Pete. “If you could sue yourself for negligence he’d have a reasonable case” absolute gold!

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I love the way Ben Stokes has saved Test cricket by throwing away any chance of playing in the World Test Championship final. It’s played in England every second year. England have missed the first two finals and will miss the third next year.

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Nobody will remember WTC winners in fifty years time, but everyone will remember the team that saved test cricket - that’d be the logic, I’d imagine

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He’s insecure isn’t he old Ben

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Let’s recap:

Stokes beat the pulp out of a guy outside a nightclub, demands flat pitches so his technically limited batters are able to play in their tactically limited way, refused to accept the umpire’s decision at Lord’s without causing a scene, encourages his team to talk shit about their opponents and to believe that they are somehow saving Test cricket (to the point where one of them actually claimed they could take credit for Jaiswal…), and even disparaged one of England’s own legends by saying he wouldn’t pick their all time leading Test run scorer (at the time).

And now ha’s on social media banging on about fucking shit up.

And yet it’s Aussies who don’t act within the spirit of cricket.

What a twat.

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2dEdited

People used to (rightly) complain about the Stephen Waugh teams being arrogant. At least they only focussed on their next opponent and didn’t act like they’d been put on earth to save an entire sport.

AND they won.

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You can add to that the way he somehow always seems to be injured while batting in order to crank up the sympathy or observation that he’s “doing all this while hurt”. Smacks of a little kid who always needs to be seen. I hope he has a cure for relevance deprivation syndrome which is surely coming his way post playing days!

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Gold

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Unbecoming and just a little bit of a dick

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An extra glass of the red cordial ?

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The poor bloke doesn't know who he is. Churchill against the gathering storm, tech bro wreaking creative destruction, Robbie Williams the betatted entertainer, the whole lot?

Talkin' 'bout your troubles

It's a cryin' sin

Ride a painted pony

Let the Spinning Wheel spin

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Merry Christmas to you too. Off the field, cricketwise (and I do mean wise), Cricket et al is by miles the best thing to happen in 2024. Real cricket, old music and books, combined with the great fun and satisfaction of leaving one's thoughts down here (about which in my case other members of the gang have been very generous). And my T-shirt has just arrived! All the best for 2025, which I know you will deliver.

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Thanks Greg, it’s been a great year, the Etal Village is full of the type of people I want to drink with.

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Agreed all round Greg. So many online “cricket forums” are hunting grounds for aggressive trolls. It’s great to share in this space.

Debuted my tshirt for Adelaide and will don for Boxing Day.

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Stokes was just quoting Lord Harris. Or was it C. Aubrey Smith? I forget.

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Absolute fuckwit of the highest order. Fake tough guy from day one. He only started bowling when the ashes was wrapped up. When was the toughness then?

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Leading them back from 2 nil down to draw the series (and should have won it 3-2) was pretty impressive. Far tougher than losing the series after being 2 nil up, as Cummins did.

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He was rubbish. The team is barely watchable. If i wanna watch blokes charging down the wicket to pacebowlers and getting out slogging I'll flick on the bbl. I find their brand predictable and boring. Then there is the bullshut saviour attitude. Just try and win the world test cha... oh yeah, that thing doesn't matter. Winning does not matter. It's the legacy!

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I think the team is very watchable, it’s just the moralising and saviour mentality that ruin it. Show, don’t tell.

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Gee he is tough tho!

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Hard not to be impressed by his 2019 Headingly and 2023 Lords innings.

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Overrated. Got dropped a bunch. Umpiring helped. Lucky slogger.

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Ahh the familiar Ozzie whinge, it was the umps fault! Makes a change from whingeing about the pitches I guess

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Just stating facts. He has been one of the most luckiest new zealand cricket players of all time

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Us losing Lyon was the killer blow.

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Yup.

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It is a pity the world’s most dynamic player and inspirational leader resorts to this sort of rubbish. He and Brendon McCullum have turned English cricket around with their Bazball approach which has transformed a previously dour playing mindset into the most watchable Test team in the world. Sure they have their failures - what team wouldn’t playing in such a frenetic fashion – but they have drawn in fans by the drove and shaken up how most other teams approach Test cricket. I don't think a 9:8 win loss ratio is all that bad given (I think) most of the series they've played have been away from home. Maybe Stokes thinks he has to come out with all this bravado bullshit – it is about as genuine and accurate as the Mel Gibson movie.

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After making a doco with him, Sam Mendes made a v interesting point about Stokes - that he plays cricket like a rugby league player; run into contact, take the hit, get up, do the same again (paternal influence seems obvious). And that if it doesn't hurt, you're not doing it right. His public approach becomes easier to understand when you see it through that lens. And for his team, I'd describe them as a boxer who basically takes the centre of the ring and always looks for the KO. But they also lead with their chin. So one way or another, one of them's getting KO'd.

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In 2024 they lost 4-1 to India and 2-1 to Pakistan, but are a much better team than those results suggest.

Are they?

Root surely close to the all time test XI

Brook unbelievable

Who else is going to be remembered with any more reverence than say, Mark Ramprakash? i.e. entertaining but not really good enough

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Yeah, I’d argue they’re EXACTLY as their record suggests.

Their style of play is dominating when conditions are in their favour, but very susceptible to collapses when not.

Even the recent series against New Zealand turned on NZ dropping SEVEN catches when totally on top in the first Test. Otherwise we’re probably talking about another poor England performance away from home with the bat.

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You are what your record says you are. My dad told me that once.

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Point well made I think. They are a much better team than that when the conditions suit their game. When conditions aren’t in their favour they’re exposed as one-dimensional and have to fall back on describing themselves as saviours of test cricket. Like the colonialists of old, they’re the boss when at home but have to do a lot of explaining how actually they’re really important/amazing when abroad.

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Though the bossing at home doesn’t work quite so well if India or Australia (the other well-resourced cricketing countries) are the visitors. But that’s a different topic…

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Just had a gander at stokes record in Australia. 28 with the bat and 41 with the ball. He certainly does fuck shit up down here. A real legendary all-rounder of his gen hahaha

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Stokes has been nothing short of average in Australia. Remember when he could not even rock up to a series because of this.. He told the jury he had “stepped in” to defend two gay men who were being verbally abused, but then had to defend himself from Ali, 28, and Hale, 27, who were threatening violence 🙄

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I’ve never understood the vitriol the English fans throw at Smith (and Cummins) while simultaneously lauding Stokes. As far as I know, only one of those three has been inside a court room. If Stokes had done that in Australia he’d been in jail now (coward’s punch, David Hooked and all that).

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3dEdited

“Culture war wankers” 😂 Once more with feeling.

I don’t criticise Patrick from that perspective. I don’t mind his climate aspirations and measured tone. I don’t really need to buy his book about leadership though as I just don’t think he’s that far down the road despite knowing and understanding plenty about resilience. I’m just not convinced of his on field decision making as quality an individual as he clearly is.

Stokes…an absolute freak of an athlete on his day and one determined unit….but from where I come from, not to be a culture war wanker, we’d call him a loose bogan 😂

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It wasn’t aimed at you.

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No, didn’t think that for a moment ☺️ Not guilty anyway m’lord. I was genuinely amused by the phrase.

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Given Australia has only played 9 Test Matches in 2024, prior the Indian series 2 sets of 2 matches, completely impossible to engineer or design for any restructure compared to how England have been able to. Selectors have done as good as possible, yet from now will be earning the remit.

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