Well said, and worth repeating ad nauseum/ delirium, especially with reference to Duckett’s comment specifically, and England’s behavior last Ashes generally.
For many years I had to deny myself the pleasure of reading Peter and Gideon because of my refusal to contribute to financing the heinously evil diatribes published with such frequency in the other pages of The Australian, and had to make do with their musings on Cricket Etcetera. It's a genuine pleasure to be able to contribute to supporting you both in your continued Rupert-free endeavours, and this is a cracking debut from PL!! The change in attitudes towards the nature of the Australian and England cricket teams is well demonstrated by the fact that some of my English colleagues at Guerilla Cricket admit that, for the very first time, there are some Australian cricketers that they actually like, and that they are somewhat embarrassed by the hubris on display from some of Stokes' team of cultists!
Nice read, Peter. Why are England making it so hard to enjoy the cricket they're playing?
The Duckett comment on Jaiswal is sadly revealing for me. Describing it as 'next level dumb' is awfully polite of you. Here's what Duckett's take on Jaiswal taught me:
1. Ben Duckett is not familiar with the IPL.
2. When Ben Duckett finds out what the IPL is, he'll quickly realise that he'll never contribute to the tournament.
3. Ben Duckett is either a) part of a cult, or
4. b) Someone told Ben Duckett when he was 10 that he could play cricket, and now his twitter handle is @bestsincebradman.
5. Unironically, Ben Duckett actually has no idea who Donald Bradman is, otherwise he would've known Bradman played test cricket a century before he was born and had a batting strike rate of 80
Good to read you Pete, perhaps somewhat unburdened by sports editors at the Oz. There seems a shallow to non existent self awareness amongst the England team these days. I'd be disappointed if that fault was to be found in that previously exemplary sportsman Joe Root.
Full disclosure: I've still got shit on my liver over the way you reported on the Ashes series.
Yes, the gin soaked Lords members carried on a treat and deserve condemnation, but pleeeaasse spare us the confected Ozzie outrage. Lords is the only major test ground in the world where the players have to walk through the members to get to and from the dressing room. Of course Warner and Khawaja should not have copped what they did, but I'd bet London to a brick that members at the MCG, SCG or Brisbane grounds would have behaved exactly the same way if, say, Stuart Broad had had to run the gauntlet of members after failing to walk after his infamous "caught behind" non dismissal. Would the beer soaked members have given him a polite clap and uttered a hearty well done? Not bloody likely. Australians at sporting events, whether in the members or the outer, can behave just as badly as the English, just ask Broad, Richard Hadlee, Muttiah Muralitheran, Faf du Plessis, John Snow just to name a few (or Adam Goodes for that matter) who have been on the receiving end of Australian crowd fair play.
The England players were wrong not to drink with us after the match, but you are making far to much of it. All you've given us is a we said/they said scenario to explain it (Stokes said it was arranged, the Australians say it wasn't) - hardly conclusive as to whose version to believe. BTW, did Bradman and his team go into the England dressing rooms for a drink after Bodyline? We've been whingeing about that series for over 90 years now so I'm guessing probably not.
And about Bazball, that gimmick that you and your fellow scribes were so quick to shitcan before the series, claiming it would "never work against our world class attack". Really? England fell 2-0 behind for lots of reasons, all of them their own fault, but it certainly wasn't because of Bazball (dropped catches, poor declaration and distraction around the Bairstow dismissal). By the end of the series they were belting our world class attack all over the park. England's aggressive approach has been hugely popular with their fans and has revolutionised test cricket, despite the doubts from Oz journalists, and your continued sneering does you no credit at all. You are correct that England have lost 5 of last nine matches, but 3 of those have been in India. Last time I looked our record over there wasn't too flash either.
And I'm glad you mentioned England's claiming a "moral victory", the sanctimonious bastards. I really couldn't be bothered, but it would be interesting to go back over past Australian sporting results and see how we reported those occasions where we dominated an opponent only to be pipped at the post, finishing line, siren or stumps, whatever. Have we never, ever claimed a moral victory after we lost? I reckon we (you?) might have claimed a moral draw in the 2005 Ashes, especially since we somewhat controversially lost the 2nd test when Mike Kasparowicz was caught down the leg side with just 2 runs to get, and England went on to win the series 2-1. Claiming moral victories is not the exclusive preserve of England. In any event, by calling out this alleged English bad behaviour we have ensured that no Australian sports hack can ever again claim a moral victory, in anything.
Now, I don't mind a bit of serious criticism when warranted, but bagging a few England players because they had the temerity to kick a ball around while a press conference was being conducted - seriously? That they were not even required to be a part of. And they were shouting and giggling for gawd's sake! Seriously mate, that is taking trivial to a new low.
Peter, it is great that you are back writing cricket again. The Oz is all the poorer for your and Gideon's departure, but conducting yet another whinge about England cricket does not bode well for the future, especially on this site.
“but I'd bet London to a brick that members at the MCG, SCG or Brisbane grounds would have behaved exactly the same way.”
They haven’t and they didn’t but the Lord’s mob did. So there’s an inconvenient fact up against a hypothetical
“The England players were wrong not to drink with us, but ..”
There’s no buts. England snubbed the Australians. McCullum said they wouldn’t drink with them and they didn’t.
Of course in your books probably an irrelevant coincidence.
“And about Bazball, that gimmick that you and your fellow scribes were so quick to shitcan before the series, claiming it would "never work against our world class attack".".
Deep breaths pal. As I said in the story. I like Bazball.
Your stuff about moral victories is hysterical. Get back to me when you see the hypothetical. hacks you sneer at claim one.
Yes there have been arrogant Australian sides in the past. This is a story about the current Australian and English sides. Same goes for your silly body line drinks reference.
A surprisingly incoherent response from such a well credentialed writer, but no matter, I'm happy to leave it at that if you are. I look forward to your next contribution, if there is one.
All fairly put but make no mistake - arrogance is found in a lot of quarters. I remember an Australian team at a function in Barbados showing no respect whatsoever for anyone outside their sacred circle. Bret Lee was a wonderful exception, playing beach cricket with some local kids. So England have no monopoly on this behaviour
I miss you and Gideon at The Oz, but you and Gideon unplugged is worth the price of admission, even though I'm on the other side of the fence re several issues du jour.
In Ben Stokes’s case, if you’ve managed to magic away other indiscretions with seemingly no consequences then why not say whatever you want whenever you want?
Love that you are here Pete
Well said, and worth repeating ad nauseum/ delirium, especially with reference to Duckett’s comment specifically, and England’s behavior last Ashes generally.
For many years I had to deny myself the pleasure of reading Peter and Gideon because of my refusal to contribute to financing the heinously evil diatribes published with such frequency in the other pages of The Australian, and had to make do with their musings on Cricket Etcetera. It's a genuine pleasure to be able to contribute to supporting you both in your continued Rupert-free endeavours, and this is a cracking debut from PL!! The change in attitudes towards the nature of the Australian and England cricket teams is well demonstrated by the fact that some of my English colleagues at Guerilla Cricket admit that, for the very first time, there are some Australian cricketers that they actually like, and that they are somewhat embarrassed by the hubris on display from some of Stokes' team of cultists!
Great to see the podcast band is back together.
Welcome Peter, good to have you here.
I know from personal experience how liberating it is to leave a job. Power to you and thanks for the wonderful piece.
Nice read, Peter. Why are England making it so hard to enjoy the cricket they're playing?
The Duckett comment on Jaiswal is sadly revealing for me. Describing it as 'next level dumb' is awfully polite of you. Here's what Duckett's take on Jaiswal taught me:
1. Ben Duckett is not familiar with the IPL.
2. When Ben Duckett finds out what the IPL is, he'll quickly realise that he'll never contribute to the tournament.
3. Ben Duckett is either a) part of a cult, or
4. b) Someone told Ben Duckett when he was 10 that he could play cricket, and now his twitter handle is @bestsincebradman.
5. Unironically, Ben Duckett actually has no idea who Donald Bradman is, otherwise he would've known Bradman played test cricket a century before he was born and had a batting strike rate of 80
Further to point 5, Bradman scored 309 in one day’s play (Headingley Test, 1930).
Fantastic summation of how it feels to witness this side roll on, unwavering in their beliefs.
Good to read you Pete, perhaps somewhat unburdened by sports editors at the Oz. There seems a shallow to non existent self awareness amongst the England team these days. I'd be disappointed if that fault was to be found in that previously exemplary sportsman Joe Root.
Full disclosure: I've still got shit on my liver over the way you reported on the Ashes series.
Yes, the gin soaked Lords members carried on a treat and deserve condemnation, but pleeeaasse spare us the confected Ozzie outrage. Lords is the only major test ground in the world where the players have to walk through the members to get to and from the dressing room. Of course Warner and Khawaja should not have copped what they did, but I'd bet London to a brick that members at the MCG, SCG or Brisbane grounds would have behaved exactly the same way if, say, Stuart Broad had had to run the gauntlet of members after failing to walk after his infamous "caught behind" non dismissal. Would the beer soaked members have given him a polite clap and uttered a hearty well done? Not bloody likely. Australians at sporting events, whether in the members or the outer, can behave just as badly as the English, just ask Broad, Richard Hadlee, Muttiah Muralitheran, Faf du Plessis, John Snow just to name a few (or Adam Goodes for that matter) who have been on the receiving end of Australian crowd fair play.
The England players were wrong not to drink with us after the match, but you are making far to much of it. All you've given us is a we said/they said scenario to explain it (Stokes said it was arranged, the Australians say it wasn't) - hardly conclusive as to whose version to believe. BTW, did Bradman and his team go into the England dressing rooms for a drink after Bodyline? We've been whingeing about that series for over 90 years now so I'm guessing probably not.
And about Bazball, that gimmick that you and your fellow scribes were so quick to shitcan before the series, claiming it would "never work against our world class attack". Really? England fell 2-0 behind for lots of reasons, all of them their own fault, but it certainly wasn't because of Bazball (dropped catches, poor declaration and distraction around the Bairstow dismissal). By the end of the series they were belting our world class attack all over the park. England's aggressive approach has been hugely popular with their fans and has revolutionised test cricket, despite the doubts from Oz journalists, and your continued sneering does you no credit at all. You are correct that England have lost 5 of last nine matches, but 3 of those have been in India. Last time I looked our record over there wasn't too flash either.
And I'm glad you mentioned England's claiming a "moral victory", the sanctimonious bastards. I really couldn't be bothered, but it would be interesting to go back over past Australian sporting results and see how we reported those occasions where we dominated an opponent only to be pipped at the post, finishing line, siren or stumps, whatever. Have we never, ever claimed a moral victory after we lost? I reckon we (you?) might have claimed a moral draw in the 2005 Ashes, especially since we somewhat controversially lost the 2nd test when Mike Kasparowicz was caught down the leg side with just 2 runs to get, and England went on to win the series 2-1. Claiming moral victories is not the exclusive preserve of England. In any event, by calling out this alleged English bad behaviour we have ensured that no Australian sports hack can ever again claim a moral victory, in anything.
Now, I don't mind a bit of serious criticism when warranted, but bagging a few England players because they had the temerity to kick a ball around while a press conference was being conducted - seriously? That they were not even required to be a part of. And they were shouting and giggling for gawd's sake! Seriously mate, that is taking trivial to a new low.
Peter, it is great that you are back writing cricket again. The Oz is all the poorer for your and Gideon's departure, but conducting yet another whinge about England cricket does not bode well for the future, especially on this site.
I’ll take the bait.
“but I'd bet London to a brick that members at the MCG, SCG or Brisbane grounds would have behaved exactly the same way.”
They haven’t and they didn’t but the Lord’s mob did. So there’s an inconvenient fact up against a hypothetical
“The England players were wrong not to drink with us, but ..”
There’s no buts. England snubbed the Australians. McCullum said they wouldn’t drink with them and they didn’t.
Of course in your books probably an irrelevant coincidence.
“And about Bazball, that gimmick that you and your fellow scribes were so quick to shitcan before the series, claiming it would "never work against our world class attack".".
Deep breaths pal. As I said in the story. I like Bazball.
Your stuff about moral victories is hysterical. Get back to me when you see the hypothetical. hacks you sneer at claim one.
Yes there have been arrogant Australian sides in the past. This is a story about the current Australian and English sides. Same goes for your silly body line drinks reference.
A surprisingly incoherent response from such a well credentialed writer, but no matter, I'm happy to leave it at that if you are. I look forward to your next contribution, if there is one.
I've been waiting years to read Peter and Gideon without paying Rupert.
I'm really happy my dream has turned into a reality.
All fairly put but make no mistake - arrogance is found in a lot of quarters. I remember an Australian team at a function in Barbados showing no respect whatsoever for anyone outside their sacred circle. Bret Lee was a wonderful exception, playing beach cricket with some local kids. So England have no monopoly on this behaviour
I miss you and Gideon at The Oz, but you and Gideon unplugged is worth the price of admission, even though I'm on the other side of the fence re several issues du jour.
Maybe we should send Ben "i am the best attacking opener ever" Duckett video of Hayden, Sewag, Slater and the great Phil Hughes!
In Ben Stokes’s case, if you’ve managed to magic away other indiscretions with seemingly no consequences then why not say whatever you want whenever you want?